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It’s been awhile since my last entry, well it feels like it’s been ages since I last blogged here. Either way, once again lots of stuff had happened. I decided to drop out of William Penn University, and transfer back to Indian Hills Community College, so I can get my AA degree (which would be by the end of spring or summer). Unfortunately, there’s a little over two grand left in my account that I owe the college, so whether I stayed at WPU, go back to IHCC, or drop out of college in general I would still have to pay that off. The only logical debt-free way that I know how to, is to find a job (hopefully in town), and use my checks to pay it off, which would take me about one-to-two months. I don’t qualify for loans, since I’m a sophomore I have to have a “credit worthy co-signer”–like anyone’s credit worthy anymore. Thus, these past couple of days I have been job-hunting, so I can pay it off, and hopefully go back to school in the winter term.

Anyhow, besides my college crisis my Grandmother had recently came home, unfortunately, she’s bed ridden. So we have to put her in assisted care since she refuses to go into a nursing home. My father, grandparents on my mother’s side, and us kids, are responsible for her care. A physical therapist, and another care assistant also comes over, for about twice a week. Furthermore, the physical therapist also trained me and others, to help her with her exercises for her legs. It’s something that I should be doing once or twice a day. A lot of the times, I don’t want to go over, for very long except for just her exercises or for whenever I’m needed. I know that’s selfish, but I hate always having to feel obligated to visit someone. I just want to visit, whenever I want to, and stay for however long I want to. I don’t want to be forced to visit for a certain amount of hours or anything, it just makes me bitter, and I don’t want to be like that. *sighs* I’m also tired and very sleepy. I just want to sleep for a good several hours today. Maybe then I’ll feel better, and more motivated.

Man, I hate the crisis I’m in, I really wish things would be easier for my family and myself. I just want to go to school, make friends, get a degree and an exciting job that earn lots of money. Then I wouldn’t have to feel so much stress. ;__;

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I already blogged about some of this at my LJ, but I think I’ll blog much more about it in detail here. Anyways, this is a continuation from the last entry. I didn’t know who else to talk to about my issue with University of Iowa, which is somewhere where I really want to go, one of these days. So, I decided to go to the career services, and there I met this really nice lady who had helped me a great deal. She pointed me in the right direction, and gave me an interest assessment because I also mentioned that I don’t know what I really want to do. It kind of re-assured me about my choices and stuff.

Anyhow, I’m making some friends here, and it’s making me happy even though I’m still shy and not really “involved” yet. But it’s not really helping me with my choices etc. I may end up wanting to stay here, even though University of Iowa, has so much more opportunities. Man, I’m still confused, but in the mean time I really want to fix up my high school deficiencies. I’m also afraid that if I leave William Penn for University of Iowa, I may become a loner again, which I don’t want. It drives me crazy, but I know that once I do more and get more involved with the school, I’ll be alright and be making friends like I would be here. It just takes time.

Also, I really hate the dorm I’m living in. It’s not so bad, so maybe hate is too strong a word for it, but this dorm hall is the ONLY one without air conditioning and my roommate and I only have ONE fan. It’s so annoying, and we don’t have money to buy another. T__T *sob* I also would feel bad if I were to live for another dorm, but I just can’t sleep in this one during the heat. Although since the summer will be over soon, I’ll stick with this one for a semester or two then request a new one before the heat starts up again. Otherwise, if I stay in here during the heat, I would totally die. D:

Another thing that sucks is that the Internet is REALLY slow. For crying out loud, the one at my house is much better than this. *sobs* ;__; Why oh why was I so fascinated by this school?

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I really like it here at William Penn University, but deep down I still want to go to University of Iowa. So I don’t know what to do anymore. I want to study Sociology, yet I also want to study several of the Asian languages possibly others, and study abroad, which I don’t think I’ll be able to get much of that here at William Penn, but University of Iowa has a really good language program for MANY different foreign languages. There’s also SO much more to do there, and Penn has much more than Hills as well. I don’t know though I’m so confused. Right now, I’m kind of regretting it. I’m just unhappy at the moment.

One of the major reasons why I’m at Penn, is because of the close-knit family like community. Everyone is open here, and since I’ve been here I literally have not been alone. It’s overwhelming, and I feel like I don’t have that little privacy that I like that I used to have. The good thing about it though is that little by little, I’m developing a better self-confidence.

Another thing is that it might be kind of weird going to like four colleges. I started in one back in California, and then had to drop it since I was moving to Iowa, so I then was at Indian Hills for a year, which brings me to now at Penn, whom I got a scholarship with, and then there’s that University of Iowa that I want to go to ever-so badly. SO! I believe I pretty much figured out what I want to do, it’s just finding the sources to do it is the problem, and wondering if it’s acceptable. D: Acceptable as in, yes it’s ohkey to transfer, and yes you can do this and that to be able to and blah blah…

OH! And I WANT the chance to go to school with my sister whose a senior this year in high school, and will be either going to Indian Hills or coming straight to Penn. *bawles* T___T

One last thing I want more sport choices dammit =[

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I have so much to blog about, and so much and too much has happened in so little time. Anyways, towards the end of my break, my grandmother had a horrible fall, but before that she fell like twice and went to the hospital a few times. Thus, I am very dissapointed in myself. My father had told me that I should walk directly behind her, and make she doesn’t fall on her way to the bathroom. Well, unfortunately, I disobeyed. I figured she’d be alright since she seemed fine about half way there. Then she fell so quickly, and hit her left side of the head in the mean time. T_T It took the two of us to lift her up, and she seemed fine; a little shook up and had a scraped elbow, but otherwise fine or so I thought…

After she used the restroom and sat in her chair for a few minutes, she drooped to her right side, and started talking very slowly. She wasn’t as animated as was, so I found it very unusual for her, and kind of scary. I asked if she was feeling alright and she said she’s ohkey. I then suggested if she wants to go to the hospital, but she said she didn’t want to. .__.; Afterwards she said that she’s not feeling too well, and since she seemed to be getting worse we called 911 even though it was against her own will, but I’m afraid that if we didn’t, it would’ve been worse. The paramedics came in, and asked her some questions, and she got some of them wrong. They then finished what they were doing and took her in.

Personally, I feel like I could have prevented the majority of it, but the doctors concluded that she could have suffered a stroke and her left side was affected. Even if it was a stroke, but it was her LEFT side that she hit her head on, so she could have received some brain damage. If I was walking close beside her, I probably most likely could have at least made her fall less worse or slow down to the point where it’s not as bad. T_T Then again, I doubt I would have been able to prevent a stroke since I was told that would have had happened anyways. My father lectured me some and I apologized, and my grandmother forgiven me (before she slowed down), but I don’t know if my father forgives me so easily.

Thus, I believe as a price, I got sick. When my mother took me home after the ambulance took my grandmother in. My through was getting sore, and later I gained a horrible headache. After midnight, I threw up. Within that 24 hrs I threw up five times or more. Before that though my siblings and father, had caught something. Their symptoms were very similar to mine (except the part that acted like a flu). My younger sister concluded it was a sinus infection since that’s how it acted for her. Anyways, I have a weak immune system so it obviously affects me worse than everyone else. Anyhow, I’m feeling a bit more better now. Able to eat, but not as much and very slowly.

Anyhow, within the past couple of days, I got to move into the university I’m currently going to and since I’ve been sick, I’ve been unable to attend any of the events. D: *sob* It also took me awhile to figure out how to get the internet working. Instead of it being wireless internet like at my old school, which I liked better, it’s Ethernet. I don’t mind, but I wish I had more freedom to move around. I kind of regret choosing the bed beside the window. I don’t mind, but seriously it’s annoying with the cord stretching across the floor, and the room is kind of small compared to my old one. I’m having more trouble getting used to it. :/

It’s also kind of boring, but I hope once classes start I’d be less bored. OH! AND I STUPIDLY FORGOT THAT YOU NEED A FREAKING CABLE CORED TO GET CABLE FROM THE DAMN TV AND I SPENT 5 EFFIN’ DOLLARS FOR THIS ETHERNET CORED WHICH IS ALL I HAD, SO I’M SCREWED WHEN IT COMES TO DOING LAUNDRY FOR AWHILE WTH! I WAS TOLD YOU COULD USE YOUR ID, BUT NOOO IF I CAN I CAN’T FIGURE OUT HOW O.M.G!!!!!!

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I had laughed so much tonight. My friend and I decided to do some quests out of boredom, while waiting for a couple of our friends to catch up with our levels. Anyways, we decided to do Ludibrium Quests, and a bunch of them took place in the EOS tower. Now mind you, we’re lvl 31 and lvl 32, and in the NEW server YELLONDE. Well, after we finished all the quests we started, we decided to be real smart and use a, “return to nearest town” scroll. Then to our dismay, we totally ended up somewhere slightly unexpected: OMEGA SECTOR! DUN DUN DUN. We could have been the first to visit Omega Sector, in Yellonde since obviously no other idiot would be as idiotic as us. 8D

Bahaha, it was so funny though. Been awhile since I had a good laugh. Anyways, we decided to walk back up that tower. Haha. Last time I done these quests, I was with someone else, and it took me all night. Then again I was talking and the such, so that slowed my progress, but omg. T__T Now I have to do it all over again… Thus, we decided to call it a night part way through and continue our grand escape tomorrow. OH! And below are some screenshots~ xD